Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Proof that stupid is universal

For some reason I can't explain, this Santa reminds me a bit of a fire fighter. The suspenders? Maybe Santa heads up the North Pole's volunteer fire brigade.

There are some stories you just can't make up. I saw the following stories on the net.

Something new in women's lingerie:

A password-protected bodice has been introduced that includes a global positioning device. The designer says that underwear could help woment who were kidnapped but critics say it's really a state of the art chastity belt that will let men track women.

In related news, a patent was granted for a bra whose cups could also operate as air-filtration systems in case of a chemical terrorist attack.

Not so brilliant plans:

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of California, in response to his state's financial crisis fired 10,000 part time and temporary employees and then ordered the salaries of the remaining employees be paid minimum wage. The flaw in this plan? The only people who could reprogram the states out of date payroll computer system were part of those fired by the governor.

A man in Washington state nearly drowned after he drove his SUV off a boat docking ramp. He told rescuers that he had been trying to rinse the mud off his tires.

In Glasgow, Scotland a sixteen year old tried to file an age discrimination suit against a company that did not hire him because of he was late for the interview. The teen claimed that due to his age no one should expect him to be able to find the address. The job he was applying for? A cleaning company.

Why I hate crocodiles and alligators:

Members of a US soccer team visiting Zimbabwe were told it was a ritual to cleanse themselves in the nearby river before a game. But one tiny detail was omitted. Crocodiles. Sixteen when in, fifteen came out.

Visitors to the shrine of Khan Jahan Ali in Bangladesh routinely bathe in the pond to wash away evil spirits. They bring chickens to feed to the crocodiles for good luck. Officials were shocked when the crocodiles ate one of the visitors. "Normally the crocodiles are very friendly."

Now go off and visit Anny Cook, Kelly Marstad, Jenny Beans, Sandra Cox and the other talented bloggers to the left.


KellyMarstad said...

The best croc story I've heard was about a social worker to Africa bathing in the water. A croc took hold of her arm and spun but she never quit fighting. Ultimately, the croc wrenched her arm off and ate it. What did our intrepid worker do? After being released from the hospital, she promptly went to a local restaurant where she sat until she devoured croc steaks totaling the same weight as her missing arm. Payback.

Molly Daniels said...

Yeah, crocs are friendly, when you provide FOOD! Is there really such thing as a 'friendly' crocodile? Only ones made of PLASTIC!

Bronwyn's Blog said...

I can't help but laugh at the kid applying for the job. Sounds like something my brother would have said at that age.

BTW, thinking happy, easy labor thoughts for you. Hope Smudgie shows up soon!

Anny Cook said...

Excellent Santa. I'm thinking I need one of those bras... either one will do.

Jenny Beans said...

The only thing worse than crocodiles is anacondas... or even garter snakes.

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