Monday, July 25, 2016

Things you never thought you'd have to say to your children.

As the Momma of several fur babies over the years, I used to keep a running list of the things you have to say to your dogs or cats that you wouldn't have to say to your children.  Now in full fur momma mode we addressed our dogs as if they were siblings.

Let's just say several things have been struck from that list since having children. With three children, now I have a shrinking list folks, a shrinking list.  Sometimes we play "child or dog" around here with the aim being to determine who did it or who you had to say it to.

For example:

"Don't lick your sister."
Seems like an easy one?  Child.  Yep, my son who is now seven and will probably be angry that I posted this had a habit of licking people.  We even have a photo of it somewhere. I figure it was because of the response he got when he did it.

"Don't pee on your sister."
Both actually. I had a Rottweiler named Koeby who used to drive me crazy because he followed my female dogs around and tried to urinate where they did. Except he wouldn't wait for them to move. He just peed on them. And then there is my son, who got distracted one day in the bathroom and turned around mid stream to spray his little sister.

"Don't play with the stove." 
Dog. We had a Brittany named George who learned that food was cooked on a stove and sometimes was left on it to cool.  George began jumping up to see if there was anything good. Twice he turned on a burner. When he nearly burned the house down, we got the child proof locks on the burner knobs...because of the dog.

"Don't growl at your brother."
Shiloh with her tough girl biker hat. Terrifying isn't she.

Again, both. For 15 years we had a cocker spaniel that was certifiably psycho. She was medicated for separation anxiety when she was young, and as time went on she became grouchy and cranky. Any time one of the other dogs got near her she'd growl at them to leave her alone. She was old, grouchy and crazy.  Now to my daughter. One of my three year-olds has taken to baring her teeth and growling at her brother and sister when she is angry at them.

Required calling poison control?
Both.  Child for eating small red berries off tree in front yard (why you put a toxin bearing tree in a front yard is another rant) and dog for eating a skink's tail. One got a big glass of milk the other got a psychedelic trip from the hallucinogenic property of the lizard tail.

I'm sure the list will continue to shrink.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Back to School Dreams

A friend just posted on Facebook about her first back to school dream.  Yep, we teachers have them too. I think of them as our subconscious's way of trying to gently ease us into the reality of the new school year coming soon. Sort of the way fall and spring ease us into the coming winter and summer.

This year's first back to school dream came a couple of weeks ago. I think it might have been influenced by my watching Unreal, the show about the making of a Bacheloresque type of show. Myself and a few of the teachers I worked with at my former school (male and female) were participating in a show where the best teacher would be chosen.  Were we being judged on our awesome lesson plans? Differentiation? Data collection and analysis?  No.

The whole thing was more a Miss America meets Bachelor meets America's got talent.  Luckily, I woke up just before the swimsuit portion began.