Beam Me Up or Just Send Hugh Jackman

Well, October 14th has come and gone and still no UFO. What am I talking about?

Australian actress and author Blossom Goodchild announced that the aliens with whom she is in contact were scheduled to make a massive 72 hour appearance in the skies over North America beginning today, October 14th. Apparently Ms. Goodchild channeled a message from aliens calling themselves the Federation of Light announcing their impending arrival.

According to Ms. Goodchild the visitors planned to hover for 72 hours so that the media would have a chance to capture their arrival on film. Tired of speculation, evidently the Federation of Light intends to stop the skeptics in their tracks. And the site of this impressive, historic and monumental display?

Alabama. Not Washington, DC. Not New York City. Not Los Angeles. Not even Orlando, Florida where they could mix freely with the characters of the ET ride at Universal Studios. Perhaps the aliens simply picked the first state in alphabetical order.

I live in Georgia just a short distance from Alabama but for my part I’m not hanging out waiting for them. And while we're at it forget the little green men, if the Aussies are going to send something our way can I suggest this:

*Sigh* You gotta love a family man.

Of course over here in Georgia we have our own eye rolling moments. It was a Georgia police officer who was in the center of the recent Big Foot scandal. Two men claimed to have found a carcass belonging to a “big foot”. The men convinced one investor to front them $50,000 to have the necessary tests done on the body to prove it’s authenticity.

In the end all the investor got for his money was a money costume that had been filled with roadkill and stuffed into a small freezer. The roadkill certainly must have made the thing smell authentic. But it turns out that the investor is having the last laugh. The monkey suit is supposedly already up to $200,000 on eBay.

Now let’s all say it together…”A fool and his money are soon parted.”

You see, many people have the mistaken idea that Southerners are somehow less intelligent than the rest of Americans. As a transplant from the Midwest I can tell you that is simply not true. But I believe the problem is directly related to how the media portrays Southerners. Oh, it’s not the media’s fault. As illustrated by the above story and as so articulately summarized by the talented Jeff Foxworthy our entire problem in the south is that we can’t keep the stupidest amongst us off the television.

I'm done, so now swing on over and see what some of the best writers out there have to say. Visit Anny Cook, Kelly Marstad and Sandy Cox.