Friday’s blog was fluff, but today’s is going to be a bit more serious. I’ve always been the kind of person who was spiritual, but tended to keep that part of myself. I’ve always believed spirituality was a private matter. But today that’s what I want to talk about.
I have always been a searcher, someone who looked for answers to my questions about God and the universe. And I’ve never really been satisfied with those answers no matter what “religion” they came from. I’ve attended almost every Christian denomination and had difficulty with each. Now I am a Catholic by choice. That may seem odd, usually people seem to be leaving Catholicism, I think because someone forgot to tell them about the right of dissent. As a Catholic I have the right to disagree with my church’s teachings and trust me the current Pope has given me quite a bit dissent about. But the community, the people and the strength of faith drew me and keeps me here.
But as I struggled, I even began to find it more and more difficult to believe that God existed at all. Logically it seemed just harder and harder to understand how God could exist in this world we live in. The evil, the pain, the suffering, etc. How could an all powerful being exist and allow all of this to go on?
Then something happened.
A nurse placed a small, wiggling human being in my arms. I looked down at that face and I knew, with no remaining doubt, that there is a God. And as I watch my son from day to day, holding him while he’s sleeping, listening to him laugh and babble and watching his face as he sees things around him for the first time; I know that not only does God exist but he wants us to know joy, peace and love.