Sometimes we need to remember...

On the other hand...there are also a lot of basement cats as well.
I've been exposed today by two separate instances of businesses who have procedures that make it almost impossible to stop them from taking my money. The first is Balley Fitness and the next is AOL. Both companies do their payments by direct deduction. The problem is, when you are done with their services both make it impossible to stop the deductions. Imagine an online internet provider that does not allow you an method of terminating their services online.

Instead, in both cases you have to call them, wait excessively for someone to come on the line and stop taking your money. And of course the hours of operation for the businesses are more restrictive than banker's hours.

:(

Our usual Sunday morning breakfast place has recently changed ownership. While change is always unsettling, this morning brought unpleasant changes. We were surprised to find very few people there when we arrived. The group of motorcycle enthusiasts who normally gather every Sunday morning to share coffee, cigars (at the outdoor tables), and laughs were not there. The teacher who stops off after his morning trip to the gym and pops open his laptop to surf the net or work on the next week's lesson plans and his co-worker who brings her daughter in after her morning run, not there. An English family who has Sunday morning gatherings with their college age kids, not there.

Then I figured out why. There have been some substantial changes. The sidewalk and the iron tables outside the cafe have been declared "non-smoking" by the new owner. The wi-fi is no longer free. And the menu and prices have changed. the menue has been cut down and the prices have gone up.

Sigh* I guess we'll be trying out the local Dunkin Donuts.

For Family and Friends:
It's been a while since we sent grandparents a video and the email video isn't working. So these images are for friends and family. Z is now just a week away from 7 months.

"I love my jumperoo. Mom moved it to the kitchen today so she could make babyfood while I watched."

Michael Jackson

Almost everyone who has access to a television or radio now knows that Michael Jackson has died. Normally the death of such a mega-star would bring out an unmitigated outpouring of love and sorrow. And on television we are seeing that happen for Jackson. But what I keep hearing over and over again from those individuals being interviewed is a guilty remorse or a qualification of their sorrow. There seems to be almost a need to split Jackson into two different people to make it acceptable to mourn.

I understand this. No one wants to be seen as showing sympathy to the man who has been tagged in pop culture as Wacko Jacko. He’s been the subject of multiple law suits over the years and has done things to outrage, shock and distress people all over the world. There was the flat out weird behavior reported on in the late 80’s and early 90’s. He slept in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber. He bought the skeleton of the Elephant Man. He and his chimp Bubbles made headlines for a long time. Then there was the devastation of the child molestation charges of which he was cleared. We can blame this on Jackon’s fame and money, but the legal reality is he was presumed innocent of charges and those charges were never proven. Then there was the plastic surgery that seemed to go to a level that rebirthed questions of Jackson’s sanity.

But I propose it is perfectly okay to mourn all of who Michael Jackson was. If the stories of his childhood that have come out from those around him, including his sister LaToya, are true, then our hearts should grieve for the little boy who never grew up and the man who faced our world in isolation, fearful of the people around him. It’s okay to feel sorry for Wacko Jacko, because we know there was great pain behind the making of that man. He suffered from battered child syndrome we know, and there are speculations he also suffered from anorexia nervosa and a mental disorder resulting from the pressures and abuse of his early life that affected his ability to adjust to change and to grow and mature as a normal adult should have. He had confirmed medical issues such as vitiligo, which goes beyond just effecting his skin pigment and can effect a suffers autoimune system and make it painful for them to be exposed to the sun when severe, and lupis which is usually fatal.

When pressed about the truth of the rumors, Jackson once told a reporter: “Why not just tell people I'm an alien from Mars. Tell them I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight. They'll believe anything you say, because you're a reporter. But if I, Michael Jackson, were to say, 'I'm an alien from Mars and I eat live chickens and do a voodoo dance at midnight,' people would say, 'Oh, man, that Michael Jackson is nuts. He's cracked up. You can't believe a damn word that comes out of his mouth.’”

But if you need to separate them, then do so because the world owes its sympathy and mourning the Michael Jackson the artist. No one has changed and impacted music, film, dance and pop culture as much. Maybe not even Elvis. I know that’s an inflammatory comment, but I believe it’s true.

Michael Jackson had been making music and commanding attention for his seemingly unlimited talent since before I was born and he’s only 7 years older than me. I grew up watching the animated Jackson 5 Saturday Morning show. I remember playing the Off the Wall album (yes, this was in the days when we actually had albums) and dancing around with my young cousins Ben and Kevin while babysitting them. (I’m sure both are thankful there was no one about with a camera for these events as they tended to be dressed in their Batman pajamas at the time.) I remember Thriller as the first album my younger sister ever purchased for herself. I remember the guys in my high school with the modified Michael Jackson jackets. The moonwalk was the dance to do at high school dances. In the years that have passed his dance and singing styles have opened the door and are mirrored in the moves and music of many of today's popular artists.

So may his family, especially his children, feel the effects of the prayers and good wishes of those whose young lives their father touched.

Caste System anyone?

Professional groups can do a lot of good for their members, but they run the risk of making themselves irrelevant when they stick their head in the sand and refuse to realize times are changing. Many of our labor unions in this country have discovered this the hard way. The near collapse of the auto industry has made the UAW and other related unions realize they can’t just keep screaming for more because there comes a point when there is no more.

Before I get angry responses about the good of unions, let me say I agree. My dad is a member of the UAW and built cars for General Motors until he took early retirement just after the last recession so that someone younger than he, with a young family, could keep his job. My grandfather was a Teamster and drove a truck as long as his health would allow it. Unions are invaluable organizations when they truly have the good of the worker in mind and not just an out dated adversarial, us against them, approach.

Heaven knows I wish we had a teacher’s union down here in Georgia where it’s okay to treat teachers like crap while saying that we are professionals and don’t qualify for union rights. But that’s the subject of another blog.

Professional organizations can do a great deal of good for the people they serve. But when they start developing a caste system within the organization, that is just wrong. Lets get to my rant. The Romance Writers of America. It is time for me to pay my dues again. Now if I were paying my dues to my Georgia group I’d pony up that money in a heartbeat because it does useful things. They have great meetings, they have a wonderful conference each year that helps raise money for literacy. They are a top class group of people who have never made me feel less welcome because my work is epublished.

But not so the RWA. You see, epublished writers are the untouchables of the RWA caste system and if you listen the old guard they would have you believe it is for our own good. Last year the RWA passed a bylaw that excluded from recognition almost every epublisher. Why? Because most epublishers operate on a more sound business plan and do not pay advances. This doesn’t mean they don’t want to invest in the author or that they somehow respect them less. The advance moneys they dedicate to a new writer go into paying for covers, editing, formatting and sales. Writers earn royalties on their books based on what they have sold. Gee. You pay someone when their product actually sells? Makes sense to me. It allows epublishers to take risks on new authors and to give more books a chance.

But not to the RWA. An author is no longer recognized as published if their work is…published. At first the attempt was to group epublishers with vanity publishers. I have never paid a cent to have one of my books published and I have rejections to prove that it’s not a vanity publishing system. Their nonsense about it not being about epublishing and being about advances is ridiculous. I had hoped with the growing popularity of Amazon's ereader, that it would change.

I've made enough money on more than one of my titles to qualify under the "made more than a $1000 on a single title” clause. I used to keep close track and recently asked for a total from EC so I could see where I am. (I lost my old sales figures to a flashdrive that died.) That I qualify was going to make a difference in whether I re-upped with RWA.

Then I started thinking. Why would I want to give my money to a group of people who don't really want me as a part of their group, but who put the little clause in because they didn't want to lose the dues of so many? I guess my decision is made. I’m going to miss the local branch, but I’m not renewing.

If those epublished authors who remain involved with RWA are comfortable sitting at the children’s table, so be it.

Tuesday that feels like a Monday

My doctor's office called today. I was scheduled to have my surgery on the 25th. Note the "was". They had to reschedule...again. I was originally supposed to get the carpal tunnel release done on my right hand on the 18th of June. Then it was moved to the 25th. Now, the office calls this morning and the doctor has had an emergency and has to go out of town so it is now rescheduled again for the 2nd of July.

Irritating, yes. But it's more than that. For each time I've had to schedule the surgery I've had to make sure that I had someone to drive me. Okay, not hard. K, this is your job. But Z is on summer schedule at the sitter's wher he only goes half a day. Now for the second time we've had to rearrange that schedule on her so he would go full day. [paid in advance] Plus, because I won't be able to lift him or change his diapers for a week K has had to arrange to get off work 45 minutes early, foregoing a lunch, to pick him up before Ms. T. closes at 5:30. (Normally I would pick him up after school.)

So yet again, we have had to rearrange our schedule, the sitter's schedule and the schedule of the entire youth services dept. at K's library. Gee thanks, Doc, but I'd probably have more compassion if we hadn't had to reschedule the first time because you didn't follow protocol and set up things the way you were supposed to.

The Letter

The letter came today. This is the letter that all teachers dread. It is the letter with the schedule for preplanning. It is the letter that seems to say, "Ha ha ha, your summer will end one day and there is nothing you can do about it." And since I'm on leadership this year, I have to go back before everyone else. Ick!

New Favorite Show

I'm not a big television person and until just recently we didn't even have cable--it came as part of the phone, internet service we upgraded. However, I've recently discovered a show that I love for no reason I can possibly name. I guess it must be my guilty pleasure. The show is called Cake Boss (http://tlc.discovery.com/tv/cake-boss/cake-boss.html)and it is the reality tv story of a family owned bakery. Watching the creative process and the family dynamic of this show filmed at Carlos Bakery (www.carlosbakery.com) . The cakes this team of bakers makes are amazing.

And while the wedding cakes are phenomenal, last night I watched them make a zombie cake complete with red velvet cake for a zombie walk. This thing was as gross as the bachelorette cake was anatomically correct. They created a strip club complete with male strippers and everything on their cakes is edible. It is amazing.

Some People Need to Chill

This picture came from one of my favorite sites, www.ihasahotdog.com . I can always count on this site to cheer me up. Like the LOL cats' site, this one features pictures captioned by site members. Last night I got very excited because this picture popped up on page one of the site. You see, it's mine. Well, I captioned it. You have to caption the pics and people vote on them, then the most popular make the main page. I was thrilled.

Then I read the comments, or rather one comment. Super mommy left a comment about how this was terrible because no dog should ever be left alone with a baby because all dogs can become aggressive and attack babies and this was not funny and how dare anyone make it seem funny.

My response? Get over yourself, lady. Obviously the baby wasn't "left alone" with this dog. Who do you think took the picture? The camera fairy? Oh, I know, the dog figured out the timer option on the camera and snapped away himself. What a dumbass.

Secondly, only a fool leaves an infant alone with a dog. Yes, the motions and noises of an infant/toddler are very close "prey behavior" and even the most gentle and well trained dog can cause injuries to a baby. Even me, who loves my dogs to distraction, would never leave my son alone with them. Not even Wendell.

Third, just because a dog is big, as a mastiff is, doesn't make it a bully breed or a naturally more aggressive dog. I'd honestly be more apprehensive about a chihuahua than that Neapolitan mastiff. But I'd still not leave the baby alone. I raised a rottweiler. Rotties are one of the "bully breeds" that have strong personalities. We raised him to be submissive. He was low man on the totem pole and didn't even dare retrieve his tennis ball if it rolled too close to my 18lb. pug. She was queen and he knew it.

Finally, this site is not a dog training site. It is not a parental advice site. No one is getting their parenting or dog training information from I has a hotdog.com. The site is entertainment. It is funny, cute and supposed to make you smile. So take the super mommy stick out of your backside and lighten up. If you take such things so seriously, why are you on this site?

That leads me to the "Mothers that take themselves too seriously" topic which I'm not going to tackle today. I'm reading a rather controversial book right now about that topic and I absolutely agree with the writer that some people think they and their approach to parenting are one step removed from the ten commandments. We'll talk about that another time.

So take a chill pill folks. Somethings are not meant to be dissected, taken seriously or even considered beyond a brief chuckle. There is enough in life that we have to take seriously. Why are you adding to the pile?

blogging, blogging, blogging

My surgery was, obviously, postponed until the 25th. It's not something I'm nervous about, exactly. I'm not apprehensive about the surgery at all. I've had it done before, albeit over ten years ago. The most uncomfortable part of the surgery as I recall it was the blood pressure cuff they use to compress your arm as part of the anesthesia. They basically wrap a large rubber strap around your arm to squeeze out the blood, tighten the cuff and then give you an anesthetic to numb your arm. It wasn't a big deal the last time and took only a few minutes for the actual surgery to be done.

I'm more worried about afterwards. My SO does not do well when I'm sick or somehow incapacitated. It's like a personal affront. *Sigh*

Romanticon

I'm trying to figure out what to wear for Romanticon. I'm not a dressy-up kind of person. I'm more of a big old slouchy pants and a t-shirt that's seen better days kind of person. The mixer on Friday is a psychedelic theme. I'm thinking early 70's, late 60's hippie kind of thing and that just isn't in my wardrobe. I may actually have to buy clothes.

And the author appreciation dinner. What exactly does one wear to that? I've seen pictures of the RT convention and the RWA conventions and the ladies were very dressed up, evening wear sort of thing. That definitely isn't in my wardrobe. *double sigh*

I did get the first of my promo items today. I'm buying things a little at a time. Instead of just "business cards" I've got magnets. I already have book marks that I had made a long time ago. I have two other things I'm planning on getting for give aways. I know that you have to balance output with expected return, but I have to admit, some of this is just me indulging the fantasy.

Romanticon isn't just for authors. It's being held in Ohio and is for anyone who loves romance and erotic romance. It's my virgin convention so it would be really nice to see a lot of people there. Its not just for published authors, readers and those aspiring to publication will find some very interesting workshops as well.

PETA

Now I am an animal lover. You can't come to this blog without realizing that. However, the whole "Obama killed a fly" outrage from PETA is ridiculous. I'm still hoping its a joke. I personally don't kill spiders. Spiders are useful and they kill and eat the icky bugs. But anything else in the insect and arachnid family (especially the ants, centipedes and scorpions) are fair game. I know they play a useful part in the circle of life, but they can stay out of my house.

High Crimes and Misdemeanors

Tonight I got a google alert on Elyssa Edwards. It wasn't a new review or a mention in a blog. It was a listing of a pirate site where my Jewels of Ursus books have been posted. I've already notified EC of this. It is a site I told them of previously that is apparently still active.

I am not someone who is often pirated, but this makes me angry. I think it's important not to let this sort of thing happen without saying something. So I did. I joined the site for the sole purpose of private messaging the person who posted the books.

This is the letter I sent.

Dear *insert user name*,

I am Elyssa Edwards. I joined this site solely to respond to your posting of my books. By listing my books on this site you are violating copyright laws. My writing is my passion and my job. It pays my bills, it helps me care for my young child, it is part and parcel of how I support my family. By "sharing" my books on this site you are breaking the law and stealing money out of my pocket.

We are not all JK Rowling or Michael Crichton who make large amounts of money off of movie rights and merchandising. Many of us don't make enough from our writing to quit our day jobs, though we might wish we could. Authors make only, on average, 5-7% off of each print book sold and 10-30% off of ebooks. We pay for a large portion of our own advertising and our own promotions.

I ask you to think carefully in the future before you post someone's books like this. This is not a victimless crime. In this, I am your victim.

Sincerely,
Elyssa Edwards

I'm disheartened to think that this probably won't make any difference at all.

Good news arrived for one of my friends. Jennifer Hudock, who is a brilliant writer, will have one of her stories featured in the Ladies of Horror anthology due out this summer. Yeah Jenn! If you'd like a taste of Jenn's talents check out her website. She's got samples of short stories there, poetry and will soon be podcasting a book of hers called The Goblin Market. If you like fantasy and stories of the fey, you have to check out this book. I've seen the versions of this story grow over the past couple of years and it has turned into an amazing story.